My hairdryer and I ….

We’ve all seen those television programs that feature compelling (or not so much) accounts of individuals who have developed a relationship with inanimate objects, yes? I try my best not to judge anyone mostly unless it deals with the abuse of animals (all zoology), women, children, or the elderly but the story about the guy who had a sexual relationship with his car was where I drew the line and I judge. It is what it is …more weird than I can handle.

Well…just yesterday I was tending to an itch on my left hand from a rash that has developed likely secondary to my medication for my missing thyroid and sorry for the explicitness, but my hairdryer almost got me off. At first I was very confused because nothing was happening anywhere else that were be a tell-tell sign that a climax would be possible and then out of nowhere all of these feels came instantly. No puns here because the keyword is almost. I immediately turned the hair dryer off because of the confusion but then I turned it back on and directed the flow towards that same spot and it just burned…bummer.

I find this hilarious now because just last week I was asking my sweets whether or not I should have my testosterone tested for a completely different reason, but I guess this was the world’s funny way of telling me not to waste my money on an expensive test, because if a hairdryer can do that then there certainly must not be a problem in that area, right? Fortunately enough there is no issue with or without a hairdryer.

I guess I should tell you why said hairdryer was even in this scenario and so I will. When I was a little dude I learned that to skip all the days of scratching an itchy mosquito bite by burning the bite with hot water. At first it feels really good and then it burns. When it reaches the point of burning, you have burned the nerve endings and therefore the itch will not return. Don’t question me, I was an inquisitive little guy who liked to figure things out. When I was diagnosed with lymphoma my legs itched terribly bad and hot water just couldn’t do the trick due to the larger surface area so I decided to use my ex-wife’s hairdryer and it soothed the itch and I’ve been using this trick ever since. Hence, the reason I have a hair dryer in the first place and have gone through many over the last several years. It’s also a quick way to warm up during the winter. Free tips from me to you. I debated with myself whether or not I would post about this but it was just too comical not to share.

What do you think the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was? Ha and it again didn’t work but that ok because the best part out of all of this is that now it’s an ongoing joke with my sweets and she just laughs at me now whenever I have the hairdryer on.

Has this ever happened to anyone? Does anyone else use a hairdryer to soothe an itch? Should I mention this to my psychiatrist?

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